Happy Year of the Dog, Y'all! The firecrackers have started in our neighborhood and I am assuming that it is only a matter of time before Austin and I stumble into a Lion Dance on one of our walks around the old stomping ground. Which to me is a joy akin to eating good chocolate, oh I do like those dances. I think, and I may be wrong here, that Austin will not like the lions at all. Firstly because to our ghostly pale blue barbarian eyes, Chinese lions don't really look like lions..to me and probably to Austin. He hates it when something is called something it is not, unless it is he himself who is renaming whatever object or person that is in question.

Secondly, Lion Dances are loud. Austin does not like loud unless of course it is he himself being the source of the loud. Yes, in fact my son does act as if he is some sort of demi-god, thank you for noticing. You should see him when he gets us to carry him around our apartment, with him just vaguely pointing in a direction. Is it over here that you want to go? No? Over here? Over here? Oh, okay over here. Are you now bored with this particular corner and now need to look behind the bathroom door? Yes Sir, Demi-God Sir. He has some sort of mighty power that he wields over us, what can I say?

Anyways, back to the loud. For those Americans who have never seen the lions dance, not on T.V. even, the lions have an entourage of drummers, lots of firecrackers and some well placed cabbage. If you have never seen this in any way, shape or form you should consider your upbringing culturally amiss and you should fill this void immediately. If you live under a rock, well then you just live under a rock, I guess.

Thirdly, everybody will expect him to love the Lion Dance, as they themselves love to watch the free sidewalk spectacle, available for anybody to enjoy if they happen to be passing by a bank, a restaurant or the property of a person lucky enough to own something in crazy expensive San Francisco. Simply because other people enjoy this ancient and beautiful tradition is all the reason my boy needs to hate something. The lions, they do not have a chance.