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How can you tell your cat needs a haircut? Well that's easy...you can hear her gagging on her own fur as she tries in vain to clean her poopy butt. How do you tell when your 2 and a half year old needs a haircut? Also easy but still, a little different than the cat (Thank God).

You can tell that your 2 and a half year old (boy) needs a haircut when your babysitter repeatedly returns your son to you with his hair tied into a topknot, using crappy rubberbands she probably got when the mailman rubber banded some magazines or junk mail together in her mailbox. Eventually, this tatic wears you down because you get tired of all the other parents wondering why the fuck your son is wandering around the playground with a waggy pony tail on top of his head, obviously just LOVING it. That's when you bring him to Chong's.

Chong's is internationally known for giving stupendously horrible haircuts, but at a low low price of eight dollars. On certain days of the week, I swear I see every boy in Chinatown under the age of 14 in line, waiting for a haircut. Also waiting in line, interspersed with the pre-teens are several hundered Algerian Nationals who if you ask them, have been going there for years. Another phenomena I have wittnessed on occassion, is the phenomena of guys who used to live in this neighborhood, who have since moved away, who all look like they could afford to spend more than eight bucks on a haircut, who come back with their girlfriends to get some sort of nostalgic haircut. Girlfriends, do not let your boyfriends do this. Everybody who goes to Chongs for a haircut walks in with different looking hair. Everybody walks out with the same haircut. And it is not a good one.

This is how the haircut looks:

Back of head: short, short, almost shaved to skin. Some razor burn.

Sides: exstensive detailing around the ears. A racecar would be lucky to have such detailing. Severely shaped sideburns. But not on Austin (this time).

Front: A little long, severely even..I think meant to be brushed to the side with some gel products. Since I don't put gel products in my baby boy's hair, right now he is walking around the neighborhood with hair styled the same was as Herman from The Munster Family. David is coping a little better because his hair automatically musses itself up within minutes of any sort of hair maintanence. He just looks like David (which is good), but with an extremely detailed hairline and bitching sideburns.

What!! Yes, it's true. David got his haircut at Chong's. We knew it was a risk, but Austin felt a little better about the whole haircutting thing because he got to watch David get his hair cut first. Austin still cried and wiggled mind you, but a little less than if we just sprang a trip to the neighborhood haircutting hotseat on him with no warning. David was the sacrifical lamb, so to speak, going in for a trim.

Chong's. An institution I will add to the list of places I do not want David to take me to when I am drunk.