Wednesdays! My Day Off.

Here's what it's like:

5:30 am..Austin wakes up, crawls into bed with us.
Kicks David in the stomach.
Demands a sippy cup of warm milk. Since we are weak and tired, we get it for him. David and I fall back to sleep, I have no idea if Austin does, too.

6:30 am...David gets up, makes Austin some breakfast, usually oatmeal. At some point, Austin and David get dressed and head out the door. I am not aware of the details as I am completely unconcious and lying on my back, breathing loudly through my mouth.

8:15 am....David comes home from dropping Austin off at school and may or may not have had a conversation with me. I wouldn't know as I am still basically unconcious, lying on my back (in the bed), breathing loudly through my mouth.

8:30 am...David leaves for school.

10:30 am...cats decide I am dead and start fighting over who will get to eat my heart.


10:45 am...cats stop fighting (they really do love each other, they just have communication issues) and together decide to use my still lifeless body for warmth. After the warm goes away, then they will duel for my heart.

11:00 am...cats decide they want to dance on me before they start digging in to the fantastic organ schmorgasbord that is my torso.

11:15 am...the dancing wakes me up enough for me to roll over, which scares the cats as they thought I was dead. They hide under the bed.

noon.....I open my left eye and look at the alarm clock. Can't remember who I am or how I got here. Rolling over in bed, I encounter a T. Rex dinosaur. Realize proudly that I am Austin's mom. Everything goes dark again.

12:30 pm...wake up and stumble to the kitchen, which is just three feet away from the bed. Thank God, because otherwise I don't think I could have made any farther. I also thank David because he has left the coffee beans on the counter next to the coffee grinder. Most importantly, he has also left the thing we use to poke at the "on" button of our grinder. The coffee grinder is so old that the little white button has either fallen off or withered away due to constant use. So a person has to get a small chopstick, a tiny paring knife or the letter opener-shaped thing that David uses to poke at his aged tea disks and then jam it into the side of the coffee grinder.

I do this and make coffee. I also feed the kitties some raw beef. More on that eccentricity later, I promise. I sit down at the kitchen table, listen to Terry Gross and try to rewind a ball of light blue fluffy yarn. My nose is cold and my feet fall asleep.

3:45 pm...I am still trying to rewind the yarn. It has been wadded up in a paper bag for over two years and it is a surly yarn wad, to be sure. I look at the clock and realize I need to put some pants on and go get my son at his preschool.

3:47 pm...I splash water on my face, comb my fingers through my hair and find some shoes. I practice talking out loud with the woman working at the lovely store that is located in front of my apartment.

4:00 pm...I pick up Austin and go to the park. Feeling human again, I feel like none of the other mommies can tell I have only been out of my pajamas for about 15 minutes.

5:00 pm...sun goes down. We go home.